Fuh. It takes me awhile to started blogging again sebab the feeling is not there. Like aku wonder mcm mana aku boleh rajin gila update blog dulu? Like??? Hazirah, kau tak penat ke mengarang panjang panjang??? Hahahaha ingat lagi blog ni kind of my one of my way to improve english aku. And it did worked okay! Haha now lama tak mengarang so aku rasa english aku getting slightly worsen? hahaha sebab macam sekarang ni lah, aku suka mix up bahasa melayu dgn english sesuka hati hahaha sampai satu tahap org takfaham apa yg aku nak sampaikan hahaha aku pun taktahu cemana nak fix dah lol. Maybe it is a sign that I should be back permenantly in blogging kot? Hahahaha acah bukan ada orang nak baca pun heh. Sebenarnya aku nak je reveal url blog ni everywhere tapi aku taksuka orang baca older post aku eventho aku dah hide older post button. Aku tak confident HAHAHAHA! My blog is so depressing tau. Aku taknak orang tahu the real emotion yang aku deal in the past. Blog ni macam online diary. There are so many sensitive stuff. (update: ok nvm i have found way to hide my older post w/o having to delete them yay! hahaha)
Okay guys back to the title, aku nak share benda yang aku bersyukur sangat sangat sepanjang tahun 2019. Actually there are so many things i've learned and bagi aku 2019 is a year that I have realize so much things. It is a year of growth for me. I am so thankful for many things tak kisah lah benda buruk or baik. Aku sedar yang not all bad things tu adalah perkara yang perlu disesalkan (?). I mean, without going through those bad days, I won't learnt anything, I won't be the person who I am today. So, yes. Aku banyak reflect on many things lah 2019 ni. By being thankful aku sedar yang there are so many things I can achieve. Aku sedar yang selama ni I keep looking and comparing my life with other people sampai aku tak sedar yang I have more than I thought. Faham takkk, hahaha. Alhamdulillah aku ada family lagi, alhamdulillah aku ada kawan kawan yang memahami, yang sentiasa tolong masa susah senang. Alhamdulillah aku still ada makanan yang cukup hari hari. Alhamdulillah I got to further my study etc. There are so many things to be thankful for tau sebenarnya. Without we realised, ada banyak benda yang kita sebenarnya ada, but other don't. 2019 I learned that I should stop being insecure of others of the things that I don't have. Kadang, the things especially benda yang kita selalu tengok orang post on socmeds tu tak semestinya diorang punya life best sepanjang masa. Same goes to me, ada hari aku lucky, and ada hari yang aku down. Those things are normal. Kita manusia kan? I learned that bila kita going through benda yang best best, kita patut bersyukur and Allah swt will give us moreeee! And bila kita hadap hari yang hard tu kita kena bersyukur jugak. Actually aku realised that it is a way of Allah swt want us to be more grateful. He misses us to beg him, He want us to repent, to ask for forgiveness. So be thankful to Him for those hard days. InsyaAllah he will shower us for more good things that we've never expect.! Haaa ok done tazkirah hahaha.
For example lah kan, time 2019 ni aku ada kenal seorang mamat ni. So from those pengalaman with him during 2019 ni aku sedar yang aku patut bersyukur yang aku single sekarang. Sebab apa? selain daripada diselamatkan daripada maksiat Lol it is better be single than being with the wrong person haa. Bila ada partner, boleh jadi serabut tau sebab nanti kau duk overthinking lah apalah padahal you are in a relationship yang kau sendiri taktahu whether dia tu mmg ur future husb or not! Sbnrnya kau boleh agak tau you are in a wrong relationship or not hahaha it is better single than wasting your time and for me lah kan, aku muda lagi kot? Ofc there are time aku teringin nak ada partner but bila dah ada mesti aku rasa serabut hahaha idky, maybe i am not ready yet. Like ofc tau kita nak in relationship sampai kahwin. But I look at myself again, like??? I can't even cook? I don't even have job yet? Aku sendiri takampu nak handle masa study and life, like? Kau siapa nak ber-relationship bagai sekarang hahaha. Wake up hazirah, tak perlu gelojoh. There are moreeeeeee many other things to achieve tau. Sampai ada satu moment bila aku rasa it is better to stay single even dah tua? As long as aku dah berjaya, ada duit yang afford beli rumah and kereta sendiri, single pun why not kan? Reading those articles pasal suami curang lah apalah sometimes buat aku terfikir utk stay single hahaha. Idk maybe bcs i am still 22 this year kot. Aku rasa having a partner is not a necessary thing sekarang. Maybe as I grow older aku akan fikir benda tu but not now kot? hahaha okay dah melalut haa this is why aku jarang blogging tau. Satu perenggan je dah panjang ginih hahahahahaha.
Other than that, aku used to envy kengkawan aku yang dapat pergi trip sesama, having those sleepover semua tu tau. But then, in 2019 alhamdulillah aku dapat pergi Terengganu with my makciks hahaha. Like kalau tanya my top thing I love the most in 2019, aku akan jawab vacation dekat Terengganu. Like best gilaaaa. Aku dapat release stress by tengok pantai, pemandangan yang cantik cantik kat negeri orang sampai satu tahap aku nak carik future husband org sana HAHAHAHA ok kidding. Tapi seriouslah, terengganu is soo best. Aku nak pergi sana lagi plss? Hahaha ok back to topic. The thing is aku sedar yang daripada aku duk envy dekat kengkawan lain tu pergi trip tu, Allah swt let me experience similar things yang aku never expect pun. Trip pergi terengganu tu last minute tau tetiba je makcik aku ajak hahaha. From there, aku sedar yang I should stop watching what others have and start being thankful. Bila aku bersyukur tu. Alhamdulillah he give me more. Contohnya, Alhamdulillah this year, 2020 aku dapat pergi Makassar. Wehhh??? Aku tak pernah naik flight tau. Aku takpernah expect yang aku dapat naik flight tahun 2020 ni. Look? Nampak tak. Bersyukur gais. Kalau korang tak dapat peluang pergi vacation lagi, insyaAllah Allah swt is preparing for more HUGE thing yang kau takpernah expect pun kau akan dapat experience. So korang rilex je. He surely will give you wants but maybe not now okie? Keep prayinggg!
Ok moving on. 2019 ni aku alhamdulillah dapat benda yang aku ingatt aku takkan boleh achieve?? Hahahaha like berjaya dapatkan lesen kereta before 2019 tamat. Like? Wow. Even cikgu memandu aku terkejut tau hahaha. Those driving classes were horrible tau. Boleh tanya any of my housemates, memang everytime aku ada dring class, balik je class tu aku akan down gilaa! I thought I WON'T pass the test. But woah? Aku berjaya pass dengan satu kali test je (eventho lesen auto and tambah masa 2jam) Aaaaa. Serious okay, tiap hari aku berdoa supaya dapat jpj baik, supaya dipermudahkan urusan lesen aku so that I don't have to burden my parents to pay more lagi utk repeat. Aku pun penat tau sebenarnya asyik kena marah tiapkali kelas hahahaha like, mentally aku koyak gila haha and alhamdulillah Allah swt answered my prayer.
hehehe ok actually there are more things aku bersyukur but nanti banyak page pulak kan post ni. Malaslah hahahaa. So I think, takat ni je kot entry kali ini. Fyi, aku jenis mmg selalu end my post weirdly tau, mcm tetiba je nak habis dah??? Hahaha pastuuu tlg ignore any typos please. Aku taksuka baca balik apa yg aku tulis balik. Pls faham haaa hahahha okay next post pasal Makassar pulak. Ok that's all guys thankyou for reading mwah! Assalamualaikum.
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