Hi there. So before 2020 ended, I want to ask forgiveness to whoever reading this as if I ever did anything wrong or hurt your feeling intentionally or unintentionally throughout this year or even years before. If there's any unpaid debt please feel free to reach me ASAP so I can live in peace.
This year tbh is not a good year for me. My mental is not stable at a few times. My confidence dropped at its lowest. I hate myself for being dumb all the times. Most of the time I feel that I've existed just to be a burden that people have to deal with. Im trying to pretend I was okay but it's still hard. I'm not good at expressing myself which make it worst. But yep. Everyone have their own breakdown and I must move on and start a brighter chapter. Hence I wrote this in hope to be more positive for myself in the years ahead and trying to leave my dark behind.
Thankyou my sister for always and keep trying to give me positive words and compliment even I feel like it's all just a lie lol because I'm not that good. Thankyou for always be there to help me, be a good advisor, be clingy and give me attention as no other people would ever. Thankyou nurmaishaira azmi for always, always be there to listen to my thoughts and problems. Also, to be there to listen to my kpop thoughts heeee, my most comfortable people to open up with. Thankyou for my roommate, Iman for always give her honest opinion and best advice so I did not feel lost with my own way. Thankyou Suuu and Shahirah for always sharing thoughts and able to relate with anything, also a good listener to my problems. Really thanks my family for understanding myself for who I am, did not force to do anything, concerned with my behaviour and always be with me. Thankyou my ex housemates and classmates. I swear I miss you guys so much. My sources of happiness in Seremban. It kinda suck that these pandemic happened and we cannot spend more time together like the semesters before. Thankyou also for #Gengdah for all of the memories together this year. My 2020 is more happier, thankyou for all the effort and kindness towards me eventhough I'm full of flaws. And lastly, thankyou for these lovely people in my life for accepting me as who I am and willing to be with me along this year and years before. It's hard for me to open up to some as I have trust issues so I'm sorry but please know that I'm trying.
In 2021 and years ahead, I only hope a year full of happiness. I don't know. I think every year I hope for happiness but nobody know what will happens right? But I really, reaaallly hope no more hard breakdown in the future. I remember having those in 2014 and it repeated this year. So I hope no more that feeling, please. Anyway, it's a new year. Nobody said that the pandemic will ended as soon as the the clock passed 12, but I hope the things to get better. InsyaAllah. May all of us will be blessed in 2021 and in the future. May Allah ease everything and grant us happiness for a lifetime. Aaminn.
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